Hi:
Long time no see.
For those of you who were still looking at my blog when I was sick and not posting, thanks for still coming to my blog, and reading the referral posts I made.
I'm feeling better. My antibiotics aren't done, but I am feeling better.
My mother is still sick, and wobbly. For those of you who haven't read my about page, I am my mother's full time caregiver. She has Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus, and was in the hospital for a long time. When she gets an infection, many of the symptoms from her NPH come back. Right now she has a bladder infection (her 3rd in two months), and she's still wobbly, and sick feeling. She needs to hold on to somebody when she walks outside, gets tired easily, and didn't want to celebrate christmas at all.
Last night, we went out for super with my brother, sister-in-law and nephew. It was a horrible supper, that tasted bad, but the waiter gave very good service. We left him a large tip. I never really know what to tip, but this time we all agreed, that he did a wonderful job and deserved a big tip.
Christmas will be really weird, because we aren't doing anything. We're just going to stay home. It's not fair to go out for super, on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. My brother, sister-in-law and nephew are going to one of their friends houses on Christmas Day. My mother, father and I are just going to stay home, and pretend it's just a day that's not special.
That kinda makes me sad. I wish we could actually do something on Christmas. We exchanged gifts today, before going out to eat, but.... We it just doesn't seem right.
On the way home we saw a horrible three car accident. I read in the news, that nine people were sent to hospital. One of them even had a heart attack in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, but the EMT's were able to revive him. He and one other person are in critical condition.
They might be having one horrible christmas and might just wish it was just any other day. If you are the praying kind, please pray for them?
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Thursday, 24 December 2015
Monday, 14 December 2015
A relationship can not be based on looks, because looks don't last.
Several years ago, when I was in college, and thought I had "grown up", and new as much as every other adult (boy was I wrong), a platonic male friend of mine empathetically stated, that he was talking to some of the other boys in his dorm, and they had decided that they could never marry (or even date) anybody who was unattractive.
He used what he thought was evidence that sexual attraction was a big part of marriage and without it a marriage couldn't exist.
I disagreed. Being empathetic, and a fighter for the underdog, I argued "what about the ugly people?", imaging those with burn scars, and horrific injuries.
He said "no, no, it can't be done."
It didn't make sense to me. Why base a relationship on looks. He argued that he wasn't. Of course he'd want other good qualities in a mate, but she would have to be attractive.
Evidently, he thought I was attractive, because less than a year later, I sat on the floor in office of my home, with the light off, and listened to him cry on the other end of the phone. He loved me. He was afraid to tell me. He couldn't take rejection. What if it ended our friendship?
He was right to wonder about such things, because I did say no, and it did end our friendship. At first I thought we could just be friends, but things changed, he became very nasty, and I told him I never wanted to see him again.
I've wondered about him over the years, and even felt guilty for ending it the way I did, but I just couldn't go out with him. He was ironically, unattractive, actually he didn't know it but he bordered on ugly. That wasn't the reason I didn't go out with him. I won't go into tearing him apart in this blog post, but just trust me, there were other reasons.
Ironically, I am no longer attractive. I've gotten older, gained weight, and quit wearing make-up. I am not small thin adolescent beauty I used to be. I was only 19, when he was so attracted to me.
What if I had said "yes"? What if we had gotten married, had kids, and lived the cosy nuclear family life that he wanted so much? Would divorce have followed? Would our children be left without a Dad, as he and his siblings were?
It's impossible to stay beautiful until your 90's. (No I'm not 90 - not even close). Eventually age makes that teen / 20 something body disappear. I'm sure he doesn't look like he did when he was 19 either. I'm sure he's even uglier than he used to be.
Why does the society we live in, place so much value in something that's useless, without substance, and shallow?
If he found a beautiful girl, she's not 19 anymore. Maybe she's skinny. Maybe she wears make up. But I can guarantee she doesn't look like she did when they first met. And does that make her any less worthy? Does it make her any less loved? For his sake I hope not. Otherwise his marriage will end the same way his parents did.
A marriage can not be based on looks, because looks don't last.
And me. I'm very happy that I said no, and I'm very glad that I told him never to contact me again. I deserve to be judged by my quality of character and not my quality of looks.
He used what he thought was evidence that sexual attraction was a big part of marriage and without it a marriage couldn't exist.
I disagreed. Being empathetic, and a fighter for the underdog, I argued "what about the ugly people?", imaging those with burn scars, and horrific injuries.
He said "no, no, it can't be done."
It didn't make sense to me. Why base a relationship on looks. He argued that he wasn't. Of course he'd want other good qualities in a mate, but she would have to be attractive.
Evidently, he thought I was attractive, because less than a year later, I sat on the floor in office of my home, with the light off, and listened to him cry on the other end of the phone. He loved me. He was afraid to tell me. He couldn't take rejection. What if it ended our friendship?
He was right to wonder about such things, because I did say no, and it did end our friendship. At first I thought we could just be friends, but things changed, he became very nasty, and I told him I never wanted to see him again.
I've wondered about him over the years, and even felt guilty for ending it the way I did, but I just couldn't go out with him. He was ironically, unattractive, actually he didn't know it but he bordered on ugly. That wasn't the reason I didn't go out with him. I won't go into tearing him apart in this blog post, but just trust me, there were other reasons.
Ironically, I am no longer attractive. I've gotten older, gained weight, and quit wearing make-up. I am not small thin adolescent beauty I used to be. I was only 19, when he was so attracted to me.
What if I had said "yes"? What if we had gotten married, had kids, and lived the cosy nuclear family life that he wanted so much? Would divorce have followed? Would our children be left without a Dad, as he and his siblings were?
It's impossible to stay beautiful until your 90's. (No I'm not 90 - not even close). Eventually age makes that teen / 20 something body disappear. I'm sure he doesn't look like he did when he was 19 either. I'm sure he's even uglier than he used to be.
Why does the society we live in, place so much value in something that's useless, without substance, and shallow?
If he found a beautiful girl, she's not 19 anymore. Maybe she's skinny. Maybe she wears make up. But I can guarantee she doesn't look like she did when they first met. And does that make her any less worthy? Does it make her any less loved? For his sake I hope not. Otherwise his marriage will end the same way his parents did.
A marriage can not be based on looks, because looks don't last.
And me. I'm very happy that I said no, and I'm very glad that I told him never to contact me again. I deserve to be judged by my quality of character and not my quality of looks.
Friday, 11 December 2015
Can we just skip the teen years altogether?
Right now, as you are reading this, I will be visiting with my brother, sister-in-law, nephew and mother. We will gather around the table, or sit in the living room on our deep blue leather couches, and talk what would seem like babbling to others. Two or three will talk across the room from each other, as two or three talk in a separate conversation, and then we will all join together, and then split up in into groups again. And the conversation will go like that for 2 hours, before my brother, sister-in-law and nephew get up to go to a hockey game.
I love my nephew very much. I was his nanny when he was young, and he's growing up. He's getting more independent. And yet he's so young. When I was his age, I thought I was old. Those little kids, they were young, but my friends and, we were old.
But my nephew, I'm not ready for him to enter the teen years. I'm sure he's ready. But I still remember when he pronounced the "ch" sound as "sh", and I had to rock him, before his afternoon nap.
I'm afraid of what the teen years will bring. It seems that all sorts of awful things, like drug and alcohol addiction, eating disorders, smoking, and bad self-esteems start in the teen years.
I want him to magically skip his teen years altogether and become 21 in an instant, jumping past all those messy years.
But that's not possible, and I pray that he will come out the other side, without any scars, wounds or hurts that can't be 100% healed within few weeks of injury.
I love my nephew very much. I was his nanny when he was young, and he's growing up. He's getting more independent. And yet he's so young. When I was his age, I thought I was old. Those little kids, they were young, but my friends and, we were old.
But my nephew, I'm not ready for him to enter the teen years. I'm sure he's ready. But I still remember when he pronounced the "ch" sound as "sh", and I had to rock him, before his afternoon nap.
I'm afraid of what the teen years will bring. It seems that all sorts of awful things, like drug and alcohol addiction, eating disorders, smoking, and bad self-esteems start in the teen years.
I want him to magically skip his teen years altogether and become 21 in an instant, jumping past all those messy years.
But that's not possible, and I pray that he will come out the other side, without any scars, wounds or hurts that can't be 100% healed within few weeks of injury.
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