Dear Judger

   I know what you think of me.  Don't you think I know what those looks mean as I walk by?  How you can't quite look in my eyes, or worse you look at me with distain.

   I know.  Really I do.  You don't have to tell me, but sometimes you just can't resist can you?  Does being in the post office, looking at the mail I got for the day, somehow invite you to say rude things to me?

   Are you that stupid, that you think I've invited your remarks?  Do you think I actually want to hear what you say?  Do you think you're comment's will change anything?  Make me exactly what you want me to be?

   Would that make you happier?  Me, being everything you expect, would that improve your life in anyway?  I don't think so.  You'd just go on to the next person, you thought wasn't following your rules, and be just as unhappy about them?

   But maybe it's not about changing me?  Maybe you don't care if I want to hear what you say?  Maybe the aim is to hurt?  Do you like seeing the look of astonished hurt on my face?  Do you like it when I can't think of something to say?

   I try to be nice....  Say something polite back.  I don't want to be as nasty as you.

  Why are you that way?  What do you get out of it?

  I'll tell you this much: I despise you as much as you despise me.  I never wanted to be your friend?  I know you think, everybody loves you.  I know you shine bright at the top of your peak.  I know you think everybody wanted to be in the popular crowd.  There's even that book "Queen Bee's and Wanna Bee's."  But guess what!

   That book is a lie.  I never wanted to be you, and I never wanted to be your friend.  I thought you were a mean little bitch, and I knew you'd just as much back stab your friends as you would me.

   I'm polite, not because I like you, or because I'm still afraid of you.  I'm polite because I don't want to be you.  I never did.  You're mean, hateful, rude and everything nasty.

  I'm empathetic, kind, generous, and everything good.

  Why would I want to be like you?