My happiness is important.

I've been happier this week.  Does it matter?  I used to think that happiness, wasn't important.  It was hedonistic and selfish.  But I don't think that anymore.

I've been doing things just simply because I want to do them.  It's not because I have to do them, or somebody else wants me to do them, it's because I want to do them.

And I don't think that's selfish or hedonistic.  I don't think it's wrong in anyway.

What is the point of life?  I know that question has been asked hundreds of times, but really what is the point?

I don't think that happiness is the point of live.  I don't think it's the most important thing, but unlike the me of the past, the me of now does think it's important.

I always thought that the happiness of other people was important.  But what about me?  Isn't my happiness important.

I think it is.

I want my $15 back.

A strange thing happened today.

I went to the grocery store, bought $45 worth of stuff, gave the clerk 3 twenties, and then....

The clerk put the money in the drawer and walked away.

No change.

No "Thank you for shopping at ______."

No nothing.

I stood there with my wallet open, and my grocery cart and stared, but he was gone.

I left the store, wondered the mall, picked up my groceries from parcel pick up, and then...

I didn't know.  $15.  I can absorb that, and I didn't want to make a big fuss.  The idea of forgiveness vrs getting even played over and over in my head.  I used to always try to forgive and turn the other cheek.

But I just didn't want to.  So I took my receipt, marked into the store, asked for the manager and told her what happened.  She said she'd do an audit of the till and phone me back.  I gave my name and phone number and left.

But still...

It's the weirdest thing.  I've never had that happen before.  I'm not sure what to think or feel about it.

Astonishment.  Anger.  Hurt.  Revenge.  Confusion.

And part of me is hoping he gets fired or reprimanded.

Another part of me thinks I'm never going to get that $15 back.  I gave her the receipt, and now I have no prove it happened.

The store will lose a lot more than $15 in the future, because I'm not ever going to shop there again, and a life time of groceries is a lot more than $15.  If that guy does it to other people, the store will start wondering why people aren't going there anymore.