Here, where your reading, this sentence right here. Take a minute to move your eyes over to the left. See the maroon background with the beigish writing, that's the sidebar.
In that side bar, the first thing written is pages. Under neither that is, Home, About Me, Related Posts and Comment Policy. Related Posts. That's the new page. And if you click on that, you will find all of my posts, listed in topic categories. If you liked one of my posts in one category, you might like the other posts in those categories. And that's my new page.
While I'm here, I might as well continue explaining the sidebar.
Under neither the pages bit, is Blog Archive. That's created by blogger, and it's a list of every post I've made, sorted by date. If you click on the downward faces arrows you will see more choices, and if you click on the left facing arrows you will see less choices.
Below that is Follow by Email. If you put your email address into that box, and push return, you'll be directed through the process of following me by email. When you're done, you'll get an email of each and every post I make, when I make it.
Under that is "Please Subscribe" You can follow my posts, or follow the comments on particular posts.
Under that is "Email Me". If you fill that form in, I will get your message sent directly to me, through email. And I might even respond to your email. Actually I most likely will, providing it's polite.
Thanks for reading this, and I'll see you again tomorrow.
Thursday, 7 January 2016
Wednesday, 6 January 2016
Adult Colouring Books and Regression.
Ok. I know this is my 3rd maybe 4th day talking about colouring books, and this will most likely be my last post on this topic.
I was thinking a lot about it today, as I drove around the city doing errands.
As I said before, I took in psychology class that adults doing things children do is called regression and regression is "bad". Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) at this time, I don't remember much else about regression. A whole two years of psychology classes, and all I remember about regression can be fit into one sentence. Oh well. I remember my math classes much better - and that is a different subject all together.
So... Have many people in the world regressed? Are we all doing psychological bad things by colouring in colouring books? No.
There are many ways of dealing with stress that are considered "adult" and are not considered "regression" and therefore "bad". Drinking, smoking, shopping, having coffee, watching porn and doing drugs are all "adult" ways of dealing with stress. All of them cause problems, and all of them can be considered "harmless" or "harmful", depending on the person you're talking to and the extent to which they are done. I don't have to mention the effects of all of these things.
Colouring, listening to children's music, and swinging on the swing in the neighbourhood park, all of which I have done at times of stress, are not harmful to anybody. It's not harmful to me or to anybody else. It maybe unconventional, but nobody ever harmed their lungs with a colouring book, or had a little too much children's music, or overdosed on swinging in the park. Nobody was hurt by another person's colouring, or set up a support group of friends and family of those who swing in the park.
And so, even if this is regression, I think my way of dealing with this stressful time in my live, is perfectly safe, harmless, and acceptable.
Whoever said "regression" is bad just didn't understand how much fun it is to colour.
I was thinking a lot about it today, as I drove around the city doing errands.
As I said before, I took in psychology class that adults doing things children do is called regression and regression is "bad". Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) at this time, I don't remember much else about regression. A whole two years of psychology classes, and all I remember about regression can be fit into one sentence. Oh well. I remember my math classes much better - and that is a different subject all together.
So... Have many people in the world regressed? Are we all doing psychological bad things by colouring in colouring books? No.
There are many ways of dealing with stress that are considered "adult" and are not considered "regression" and therefore "bad". Drinking, smoking, shopping, having coffee, watching porn and doing drugs are all "adult" ways of dealing with stress. All of them cause problems, and all of them can be considered "harmless" or "harmful", depending on the person you're talking to and the extent to which they are done. I don't have to mention the effects of all of these things.
Colouring, listening to children's music, and swinging on the swing in the neighbourhood park, all of which I have done at times of stress, are not harmful to anybody. It's not harmful to me or to anybody else. It maybe unconventional, but nobody ever harmed their lungs with a colouring book, or had a little too much children's music, or overdosed on swinging in the park. Nobody was hurt by another person's colouring, or set up a support group of friends and family of those who swing in the park.
And so, even if this is regression, I think my way of dealing with this stressful time in my live, is perfectly safe, harmless, and acceptable.
Whoever said "regression" is bad just didn't understand how much fun it is to colour.
Tuesday, 5 January 2016
"Reduce Stress", on of my doctors said. "But how?" I wanted to respond but didn't.
My dog is trying to get comfortable on the couch, having resigned herself to not being allowed to go outside and bark along the dogs already barking outside.
My mother just went to bed.
Colouring books and crayons await me at the table. I bought new colouring books and new crayons today. I wanted a crayon sharpener, but they only come in the big pack of crayons. I'm glad I did. All sorts of cool colours like metallic and gel colours are included in the large packs.
I like colouring with crayons more, than pencil crayons or markers. There's just something about it.
In my psychology classes, I took I learned about regression and it's evils. At this point I can't remember why it was bad, to regress, but I remember it was bad. Am I regressing? I don't know. I do know that a whole bunch of other people are regressing along with me, because adult colouring books are very popular. I'm not sure about the crayon's part, or the children's music part, but it is relaxing.
I need relaxation. And I need to reduce my stress. Apparently some of my health problems are due to the prolonged stress I've been under. For the last 5 years, I've been under a lot of stress. Deaths, illnesses (one that included neurosurgery and 100 days in hospital), a house fire, a dog dying, the family house being sold (it was in the family for 70 years), two car accidents (one a major head on collision), and a heart attack, have filled our family's activities in the last 5 years. We've been moving from crisis to crisis, without much time in-between each crisis. We've just had a really really bad string of bad luck.
And all that stress? It's causing me health problems: unable to concentrate, unable to remember things, stomach aches, back aches, and many other things.
The doctor told me to cut down on my stress. But how? If I knew we'd have a house fire, I would have prevented it. There wasn't anyway I could have prevented the deaths. And know body knows what caused my mother's Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus. I have no control over the health of my father's heart. If I'd know that somebody would turn in front of me, on a busy 80 km / hr road, I would have taken a different road.
How? Just how does anyone propose I stop these horrible things from happening? I would have stopped them if I could. Believe me I didn't want these things to happen anymore than my doctor did. Or the librarian (when we told the library that they weren't getting any books back because they all burned in the fire, the librarian said "I hate fires", as if we had a fire just to make her live difficult.)
And so I'm doing small things. I'm colouring in adult colouring books. I'm listening to Raffi. I sing loudly in the car. I play with my dog. I watch TV shows that make me laugh. I blocked everybody who annoyed me in any way from all social media accounts. I block every stranger on social media that offends me in anyway, because I have enough stress without arguing with strangers on the internet.
I've done big things like cut off all ties with a cousin, who was prone to calling me and telling me about the mistakes I made. I didn't need to hear it, and although I love this cousin, I just don't want to have anything to do with somebody who is "only telling me the truth", when she says that back when we were children or teens or some other age along time ago that I did such and such and it was a mistake and if I hadn't done that then, I wouldn't be suffering now.
We bought another dog about a year after our last dog died (from smoke inhalation), and pet and play with her daily. I try to make choices that will make me happy.
But the thing is: it's not really working. I'm still living a stressful live, and that constant stress: the cortisone and adeline that pumps through the human body when it's under stress, is causing health problems. Or at least that's one of the possibilities. There are other possibilities of why I'm getting sick, and I am perusing those ideas with my doctors as well.
And there's one more thing I'm doing to help with my stress: I'm doing it right now - writing this blog. And you, by reading this blog, have helped me tremendously, because as I said yesterday, looking at the stats, helps me. It makes me happy when people read this blog. And for that I thank you very much for reading.
My mother just went to bed.
Colouring books and crayons await me at the table. I bought new colouring books and new crayons today. I wanted a crayon sharpener, but they only come in the big pack of crayons. I'm glad I did. All sorts of cool colours like metallic and gel colours are included in the large packs.
I like colouring with crayons more, than pencil crayons or markers. There's just something about it.
In my psychology classes, I took I learned about regression and it's evils. At this point I can't remember why it was bad, to regress, but I remember it was bad. Am I regressing? I don't know. I do know that a whole bunch of other people are regressing along with me, because adult colouring books are very popular. I'm not sure about the crayon's part, or the children's music part, but it is relaxing.
I need relaxation. And I need to reduce my stress. Apparently some of my health problems are due to the prolonged stress I've been under. For the last 5 years, I've been under a lot of stress. Deaths, illnesses (one that included neurosurgery and 100 days in hospital), a house fire, a dog dying, the family house being sold (it was in the family for 70 years), two car accidents (one a major head on collision), and a heart attack, have filled our family's activities in the last 5 years. We've been moving from crisis to crisis, without much time in-between each crisis. We've just had a really really bad string of bad luck.
And all that stress? It's causing me health problems: unable to concentrate, unable to remember things, stomach aches, back aches, and many other things.
The doctor told me to cut down on my stress. But how? If I knew we'd have a house fire, I would have prevented it. There wasn't anyway I could have prevented the deaths. And know body knows what caused my mother's Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus. I have no control over the health of my father's heart. If I'd know that somebody would turn in front of me, on a busy 80 km / hr road, I would have taken a different road.
How? Just how does anyone propose I stop these horrible things from happening? I would have stopped them if I could. Believe me I didn't want these things to happen anymore than my doctor did. Or the librarian (when we told the library that they weren't getting any books back because they all burned in the fire, the librarian said "I hate fires", as if we had a fire just to make her live difficult.)
And so I'm doing small things. I'm colouring in adult colouring books. I'm listening to Raffi. I sing loudly in the car. I play with my dog. I watch TV shows that make me laugh. I blocked everybody who annoyed me in any way from all social media accounts. I block every stranger on social media that offends me in anyway, because I have enough stress without arguing with strangers on the internet.
I've done big things like cut off all ties with a cousin, who was prone to calling me and telling me about the mistakes I made. I didn't need to hear it, and although I love this cousin, I just don't want to have anything to do with somebody who is "only telling me the truth", when she says that back when we were children or teens or some other age along time ago that I did such and such and it was a mistake and if I hadn't done that then, I wouldn't be suffering now.
We bought another dog about a year after our last dog died (from smoke inhalation), and pet and play with her daily. I try to make choices that will make me happy.
But the thing is: it's not really working. I'm still living a stressful live, and that constant stress: the cortisone and adeline that pumps through the human body when it's under stress, is causing health problems. Or at least that's one of the possibilities. There are other possibilities of why I'm getting sick, and I am perusing those ideas with my doctors as well.
And there's one more thing I'm doing to help with my stress: I'm doing it right now - writing this blog. And you, by reading this blog, have helped me tremendously, because as I said yesterday, looking at the stats, helps me. It makes me happy when people read this blog. And for that I thank you very much for reading.
Monday, 4 January 2016
I had an absolutely fabulous Day.
The day started, like any other. Yesterday's post was written the night before, but set to post before I got up. That's the way I post all my posts.
In the morning, like any other morning, I tweeted about the post. If the post is about nobody particular, I tweet the title of the post. If the post mentions a person, I tweet about the post, and mention the person whose in the tweet. If I've written about you, you should know I have, and I tell you so in a tweet.
Raffi, the person I wrote about yesterday, retweeted my tweet, and wow. All day long I saw my blog post stats raise. For those of you that don't know, blogger, who hosts this blog, provides stats, which tell the blogger (in this case me), how many people read each post, and a variety of other things.
These numbers, can make me happy when they raise. I've wondered about this, really I have. Why do I need external validation? Shouldn't just simply posting it and having nobody read it, be just as rewarding as posting it and having many people read it? If I dug really deep into this external validation question, I could make my self sad again, and I'm not going to do that. I simply don't want to.
As the readers of my post kept rising, so did my spirits. And now here comes the awkward part of this post. When this post is posted tomorrow, should I tweet Raffi again? Would that be like asking him to retweet again? I don't want to make him feel awkward or obligated (although I wouldn't mind another retweet), but I do think if I write about something, I should tell them I've written about him/her.
The day followed with more colouring, and more Raffi, although this time I didn't really need to listen to it on youtube. I just sang songs like "Mr. Sun", and "Brush my Teeth", whenever I thought about it all day long. It became a joke between my mother and I. "What Raffi song can I come up with for every situation."
And then the evening as filled with watching an extremely funny gameshow called "The whole 19 yards". Mom and I laughed out loud as we watched this. It was the first time we watched it, and I'm really glad I found it on youtube.
Our dog was actually the one that wanted us to watch. In the evening, we often watch youtube videos while laying on Mom's bed, and placing the computer between us. Tonight our dog made such a ruckus about not going to the bedroom to watch youtube videos, that we eventually gave in and went. So thanks dog. But I'm not going to tweet her, because my dog doesn't have her own twitter account.
In the morning, like any other morning, I tweeted about the post. If the post is about nobody particular, I tweet the title of the post. If the post mentions a person, I tweet about the post, and mention the person whose in the tweet. If I've written about you, you should know I have, and I tell you so in a tweet.
Raffi, the person I wrote about yesterday, retweeted my tweet, and wow. All day long I saw my blog post stats raise. For those of you that don't know, blogger, who hosts this blog, provides stats, which tell the blogger (in this case me), how many people read each post, and a variety of other things.
These numbers, can make me happy when they raise. I've wondered about this, really I have. Why do I need external validation? Shouldn't just simply posting it and having nobody read it, be just as rewarding as posting it and having many people read it? If I dug really deep into this external validation question, I could make my self sad again, and I'm not going to do that. I simply don't want to.
As the readers of my post kept rising, so did my spirits. And now here comes the awkward part of this post. When this post is posted tomorrow, should I tweet Raffi again? Would that be like asking him to retweet again? I don't want to make him feel awkward or obligated (although I wouldn't mind another retweet), but I do think if I write about something, I should tell them I've written about him/her.
The day followed with more colouring, and more Raffi, although this time I didn't really need to listen to it on youtube. I just sang songs like "Mr. Sun", and "Brush my Teeth", whenever I thought about it all day long. It became a joke between my mother and I. "What Raffi song can I come up with for every situation."
And then the evening as filled with watching an extremely funny gameshow called "The whole 19 yards". Mom and I laughed out loud as we watched this. It was the first time we watched it, and I'm really glad I found it on youtube.
Our dog was actually the one that wanted us to watch. In the evening, we often watch youtube videos while laying on Mom's bed, and placing the computer between us. Tonight our dog made such a ruckus about not going to the bedroom to watch youtube videos, that we eventually gave in and went. So thanks dog. But I'm not going to tweet her, because my dog doesn't have her own twitter account.
Sunday, 3 January 2016
Raffi and Adult colouring Books.
I don't know what to write. I don't know how honest to be?
I think I'm depressed. I'm finding it very difficult to sleep, concentrate, think, or function.
I'm also finding it very difficult to write a post. I've started several different posts, and just can't come up with something to say. Maybe I shouldn't wait until bedtime to write posts? Maybe if I had slept well in the last little while but that's not working very well either.
Last night because I was feeling sad and melancholy, I listened to Raffi, the Canadian's Children's singer. I grew up listening to Raffi, and when I was nanny for my nephew I listened to Raffi with him. I know the songs off by heart, and they have a way of making me smile.
So last night, I thought of listing to Raffi, even though I didn't have a child with me. I tweeted about wounding if it was a little weird for an adult to listen to Raffi without a child alongside, and Raffi himself tweeted back saying "go ahead". I did and it did make me smile.
Song's like "Mr. Sun", and "5 green and speckled frogs", still make me smile.
And I think I'll do that again tomorrow, while doing another children's activity: colouring. Adult colouring books, are the "in" thing, and it relaxes. I think tomorrow I'll try doing it while listening to children's music: Raffi.
Is that too weird? But then again, even if it is, what difference does it make, if it makes me happier?
....
Update:
After I wrote this, but before it was scheduled to post, I got a video of Raffi on youtube, and listened to it, while colouring an adult colouring book. I sang with the songs, listened to the children laugh, and at times laughed along with them. It cheered me up, and made me happier. Now I'm going to go to bed, and I won't be so melancholy when I do.
Thanks Raffi.
I think I'm depressed. I'm finding it very difficult to sleep, concentrate, think, or function.
I'm also finding it very difficult to write a post. I've started several different posts, and just can't come up with something to say. Maybe I shouldn't wait until bedtime to write posts? Maybe if I had slept well in the last little while but that's not working very well either.
Last night because I was feeling sad and melancholy, I listened to Raffi, the Canadian's Children's singer. I grew up listening to Raffi, and when I was nanny for my nephew I listened to Raffi with him. I know the songs off by heart, and they have a way of making me smile.
So last night, I thought of listing to Raffi, even though I didn't have a child with me. I tweeted about wounding if it was a little weird for an adult to listen to Raffi without a child alongside, and Raffi himself tweeted back saying "go ahead". I did and it did make me smile.
Song's like "Mr. Sun", and "5 green and speckled frogs", still make me smile.
And I think I'll do that again tomorrow, while doing another children's activity: colouring. Adult colouring books, are the "in" thing, and it relaxes. I think tomorrow I'll try doing it while listening to children's music: Raffi.
Is that too weird? But then again, even if it is, what difference does it make, if it makes me happier?
....
Update:
After I wrote this, but before it was scheduled to post, I got a video of Raffi on youtube, and listened to it, while colouring an adult colouring book. I sang with the songs, listened to the children laugh, and at times laughed along with them. It cheered me up, and made me happier. Now I'm going to go to bed, and I won't be so melancholy when I do.
Thanks Raffi.
Saturday, 2 January 2016
Gerd - the sleep thief of the night.
I truly hope I get more sleep tonight than I did last night.
Last night I didn't get to sleep until 3:00 am, and then I woke up at 5:00 am, and stayed up.
The problem: Gerd. That awful feeling in the back of my throat, that burns, makes me cough and prevents sleep. It prevents going to sleep, and it wakes me up with a mouthful of yellowie-orangie gunk that burns my mouth and hurts my teeth. When it suddenly wakes me up, I can't wait to spit it out. I fumble for the light in almost a panic, as I try to get up find a kleenex to spit it into.
And that is why, I wondered through the day, almost asleep.
I truly hope it doesn't happen again tonight, and I can sleep peacefully.
Last night I didn't get to sleep until 3:00 am, and then I woke up at 5:00 am, and stayed up.
The problem: Gerd. That awful feeling in the back of my throat, that burns, makes me cough and prevents sleep. It prevents going to sleep, and it wakes me up with a mouthful of yellowie-orangie gunk that burns my mouth and hurts my teeth. When it suddenly wakes me up, I can't wait to spit it out. I fumble for the light in almost a panic, as I try to get up find a kleenex to spit it into.
And that is why, I wondered through the day, almost asleep.
I truly hope it doesn't happen again tonight, and I can sleep peacefully.
Friday, 1 January 2016
Happy New Years
It's that time of year again, when we change our calendars not just from one month to the next, but from one year to the next.
I will start writing the date as 2015, then cross it out and write 2016 beside or over top of the original year. This will continue for about a week, until I'm totally used to writing 2016.
It's the time that people naturally think of change. The year is changing, the calendar is changing, other people are writing resolutions, so why shouldn't I change.
This year I'm not going to write or even think about a single resolution. Resolutions are a set up for failure. If I write a resolution it's usually very complicated. One year I wrote how much weight I wanted to lose, followed by a month by month progress of how much weight I would lose by the beginning of each month, and what I would do that month to lose that weight. By the time Feb 1 came around, I had already failed.
I don't want to fail this year, and I don't even want to try.
I know that sounds defeatists, because even as I wrote it I second guessed myself, but I have a reason.
Right now, in my life, I'm already feeling inadequate. I am having a very hard time dealing with live, and I just can't set myself up for failure this year. Before Mom was sick, we had a house fire, then when Mom got sick, were still unpacking all of the stuff after moving back into our house. As Mom got worse and worse, I quit unpacking altogether. Now our house looks horrible. I don't think it will ever get clean. And I've given up.
Sometimes brushing my teeth, washing my face and getting dressed in the morning is too much work and I simply don't do it. In the last 4 years we've had several tragedies that in and of themselves are unusual and horrible to live through, but we've just had horrific luck, and have had them pile on us. Through them all I've been coping, but I've reached a point where I can't be strong for anybody else, and I can't try to change anything either. I'm not going to try.
This year, there won't be any resolutions from me. This year, I'm going to not try to change a thing.
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