I didn't have a Christmas

Boxing Day.

It just doesn't seem like Christmas is over yet.  For me it's not over, anyway, because right now as I write this it's almost 11:00 on Christmas Day night.

For you, reading this, it's Boxing Day, and the big day of Christmas is over.

For me.  Well Christmas wasn't a big day today.  There was no Christmas dinner, no friends and family, and no presents.  My father fixed the kitchen chairs that were falling apart and then went to Christmas dinner at my cousins house.  We all got a last minute invitation (like 2 hours before it started invitation), but my mother didn't want to go.  I sort of wanted to go.  The turkey, stuffing and gravy beckoned me.  But my mother was sick, and it seemed cruel to leave her alone on Christmas Day.

We haven't actually spent a proper Christmas in 3 years.  Ever since her Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus reared it's ugly head, Mom has wanted nothing to do with Christmas.  She doesn't want to cook, and she doesn't want to visit.  She gets tired out too easily, and doesn't want to have anything to do with large family gatherings.

And so, we've canceled Christmas - doing things like going out to eat, or just having small family gatherings with a small non-christmas like supper.  We haven't shopped for gifts, and we've given money to the only child in the family instead of bought presents.  (He loves getting hundreds of dollars at Christmas time, and a few days ago I asked if he missed getting presents, but he backed away and said he'd rather have the money.)  We haven't put up a tree or decorated in any way.  We haven't made any Christmas baking, or gone to any Christmas parties.

And if I were being honest, I'd say I miss it.  I'd say that I really want to exchange presents, and have Christmas supper, and spend all day together, doing all sorts of things like we used to.

But I'm not honest.  I tell Mom, that it's ok.  That I'd rather not have Christmas either.

I search out ways to make it Christmas just for myself, like saying Merry Christmas, and singing Happy Birthday to Jesus in the morning.  But it just doesn't seem like Christmas.  It seems like Christmas has been canceled and apart of me is resentful that Mom insists on cancelling every year for three years in a row.

And next Christmas....  Well I don't know if I'll have the guts to say "I want Christmas.", but if I was being honest, I would have even said it this year.

Merry Christmas

For me: it's Christmas Eve.

For you: It's Christmas Day.

Merry Christmas.  I hope your day is wonderful, happy, joyous and content.

I'm not sure what were doing for Christmas.  As I mentioned before, we already had Christmas super at a restaurant on the 23rd.  Tomorrow.  Well I don't want it to be just any other day.  And yet, my father wants to clean.

I have no idea.

But anyways Merry Christmas.  Remember Jesus is the Reason for the Season, and he loves you.  Many people (those who call themselves christians included), think that Jesus was hateful and God is judgemental.  That's not true.  Jesus loves you.

Those who say that God abhors gays, picket abortion clinics, tell transgenders that gender can't be changed, and generally use the bible to bring down judgement and hatred on whole groups of people are wrong.

Those people forget one simple little message: love your neighbours as yourself.  The entire bible is about love.  And that kind of crap isn't love.

Please just ask God to show himself and the truth to you.  He's a good teacher, and he will do it.

Merry Christmas.

We won't be doing anything special for Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.

Hi:

   Long time no see.

   For those of you who were still looking at my blog when I was sick and not posting, thanks for still coming to my blog, and reading the referral posts I made.

   I'm feeling better.  My antibiotics aren't done, but I am feeling better.

   My mother is still sick, and wobbly.  For those of you who haven't read my about page, I am my mother's full time caregiver.  She has Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus, and was in the hospital for a long time.  When she gets an infection, many of the symptoms from her NPH come back.  Right now she has a bladder infection (her 3rd in two months), and she's still wobbly, and sick feeling.  She needs to hold on to somebody when she walks outside, gets tired easily, and didn't want to celebrate christmas at all.

  Last night, we went out for super with my brother, sister-in-law and nephew.  It was a horrible supper, that tasted bad, but the waiter gave very good service.  We left him a large tip.  I never really know what to tip, but this time we all agreed, that he did a wonderful job and deserved a big tip.

   Christmas will be really weird, because we aren't doing anything.  We're just going to stay home.  It's not fair to go out for super, on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.  My brother, sister-in-law and nephew are going to one of their friends houses on Christmas Day.  My mother, father and I are just going to stay home, and pretend it's just a day that's not special.

  That kinda makes me sad.  I wish we could actually do something on Christmas.  We exchanged gifts today, before going out to eat, but....  We it just doesn't seem right.

  On the way home we saw a horrible three car accident.  I read in the news, that nine people were sent to hospital.  One of them even had a heart attack in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, but the EMT's were able to revive him.  He and one other person are in critical condition.

   They might be having one horrible christmas and might just wish it was just any other day.  If you are the praying kind, please pray for them?